


We Will Be Alright

by taxicab12



Series: more to me than you can dream [4]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, M/M, Pre-Canon, The inherently depressing nature of watching your soulmate die repeatedly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:28:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25903591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taxicab12/pseuds/taxicab12
Summary: “Nicolò!” Yusuf entered the small hutlike house they shared with a great grin, calling his lover by pet names in half a dozen different languages.Nicolò sat at their table, his back to Yusuf and the door, unmoving.Yusuf moved up behind him, his hair dripping due to his bath in the river as he leaned in to kiss Nicolò’s cheek.Nicolò held up a hand to stop him. “Don’t touch me right now.”
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: more to me than you can dream [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878034
Comments: 20
Kudos: 449





	We Will Be Alright

“Nicolò!” Yusuf entered the small hutlike house they shared with a great grin, calling his lover by pet names in half a dozen different languages.

Nicolò sat at their table, his back to Yusuf and the door, unmoving.

Yusuf moved up behind him, his hair dripping due to his bath in the river as he leaned in to kiss Nicolò’s cheek.

Nicolò held up a hand to stop him. “Don’t touch me right now.”

Yusuf obeyed, pulling away instantly then moving to sit across the table from him. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Nicolò wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“Nico, please talk to me.”

“You died,” he said, in a low voice.

He had, briefly. It hadn’t been a particularly painful or memorable death, just an unlucky attack of bandits on the road home. One of them had raised his blade to swing at Nicolò, who had been distracted by another, so Yusuf made the only possible choice and threw himself between the sword and his love. He’d bled out on the side of the road as Nicolò finished off the bandits and woken with his lover kneeling at his side. When they’d returned home, he’d gone to wash the blood off his chest.

“I’m here,” Yusuf said. “I’m alright. I’ve died in much worse ways than that, my love.”

“You should not have died,” he said, as if Yusuf were missing an obvious conclusion. “Not like that. Not for me.”

His heart went cold as he realized it was guilt that weighed down Nicolò’s face. “I don’t regret it.”

“I do,” he said. “That death was meant for me. Instead, I watched you suffer and die and that is the much crueler fate.”

“I will not apologize for keeping you from harm. I will apologize for many things, but never that.”

“Damn it, Yusuf!” Nicolò slammed his hand into the table and stood, turning to face the door, but not moving towards it. “I have watched you die an uncountable number of times. I hate it! I hate watching you suffer far more than I hate dying myself.”

He didn’t speak.

“Sometimes I think we are blessed, getting to be together all these years. Sometimes I think we are cursed, watching each other die again and again.”

Yusuf didn’t move, didn’t stand. “Look at me.”

He didn’t move.

“Two hundred and seventy three,” Yusuf said after a long silence.

Nicolò finally turned, his jaw clenched. “What?”

“That is the number of times I’ve watched you die.” He didn’t let any of the emotions he felt onto his face. “Forty four of those were by my hand.”

He was silent.

“I know how you feel,” Yusuf said. “I know that it hurts to watch the one you love die again and again and again. Do you know how many times I’ve died?”

Nicolò shook his head.

“Neither do I. And I don’t care. I would die a thousand times if it would keep you from pain.” He felt tears forming in his eyes. “I am sorry you had to see me in pain, Nicolò. You are my heart. You are all that matters to me.”

“You say the words in my heart, Yusuf,” he said, sitting back down. “I... I want to keep you safe.”

“I know.” He leaned in, reaching a hand towards him.

Nicolò ignored his hand, but leaned across the table to meet his lips. “I love you. I’m sorry for my anger.”

“It’s alright,” Yusuf said. “It was anger born of love.”

“Do you think it will ever hurt less?”

“To watch each other die? I hope not.”

“Oh?”

“If there comes a day where I can see you hurting without feeling the pain, it would mean I no longer loved you. I would rather the pain. I would rather suffer every kind of pain.”

Nicolò let out a heavy breath. “It hurts.”

“I know,” he said. “And I know you would do the same for me that I did for you. You  _ have_. We will be alright.”

Then, Nicolò was kissing him and the pain and the fear faded away until it felt like the touch of his lover’s lips was the only thing that was real.

“We will be alright,” Nicolò repeated, as if it were a prayer, a promise.

“You should rest.”

“I don’t need rest,” he said, but there was a softness to his words now, a playfulness. “I need to see that you’re alright.”

Yusuf stood and removed his shirt, only too happy to oblige. “Does it make you feel better to see?”

Nicolò didn’t respond with words, only with a desperate kiss, pushing Yusuf backwards.

It was  _ more _ than alright. 

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell I’m obsessed?


End file.
